'You Get to Choose'

I had a dream.

I dreamed that I was the new teacher at an elementary school back where I grew up. It was actually my very first day. My dad dropped Gable off at the school and somehow, for some reason, he chose this day to return a very large gun to me. I was in the back of the school and he sent Gable to me with the gun. Gable slipped through unnoticed because everyone was at lunch.

This gun was like a bb gun, but much, much bigger and taller. It was way taller than me and grew as the dream progressed. I began to panic as I tried to figure out a way to get this gun out of the school building and into the van. Obviously, it was a weapon and weapons were probably sort of frowned upon at an elementary school. Especially with a teacher and most definitely with the new teacher on her first day. I thought of trying to explain that I really was up to no harm, but without them knowing me yet, they would know nothing of my character or personality.

I tried to make a break for the front door, but lunch was ending and people were milling about. I found a big beach towel and wrapped the gun in it. It would look mysterious, but at least the gun would not show. I tried to disguise the gun as best as possible, picking up pieces of wood and sticks to carry along with it. I finally found a side door that was 'people free'. This would allow me to skip out of the lunch-crowd out front. Gable and I slipped out the side door, finally starting to feel the noose loosening around my neck. I saw my van in the distance and had to force myself to keep walking calmly instead of breaking into a run. As I stepped into the front parking lot, an older mother came beside me and began to lead me back to the side door. I didn't want to go back. I was so close. But then she said, "Melanie, it's YOUR dream. You get to choose how it happens."

And then I woke up.

I am no dream expert, but I am pretty sure this dream has something to do with the wedding I'm in this weekend. (See post below)
-Although I wasn't guilty of what appeared to be, I felt as if I had done something horribly wrong.
-I have in my mind that people are going to assume the worst about me and that they've already judged me
-I have made this agreement that people are just going to be mean to me or ignore me or talk about me
-but I actually have to go back (in my dream and to my old people)
-I get to choose, at least how I respond and how I perceive people. I can choose to smile, hold my head up, and be loving & unassuming
-or, I can choose to hide, take the long way around, try to disguise myself

Oh, boy. Food for thought.