I am in a wedding this coming Saturday. I find it hilarious that I am a thirty-something bridesmaid. What a hoot. Bridesmaids should be pure and innocent and fair maidens, not homeschooling moms of three. I am a puke-cleaner and floor mopper, not a fair maiden. Ahh, enough of that. I'm depressing even myself.
I am having panic about this wedding. I've been in, wait a minute, let me count...eight weddings, but none have given me jitters. Well, except my own, but that's another story for another day. (I will tell you that I hid upstairs and had to be dragged and slightly beaten by my sister.)
This wedding...where to begin? The grooms family and my family had a huge falling out. I would venture to say that it has caused the most pain out of anything in my adult life. Now, I won't go into the details as there are always two sides to every story. But I will just say that Jon and I would never, ever even have been invited to this wedding after all that went down. Except for one tiny factor: the bride and I met and became friends. It was kind of that forbidden romance that wasn't a romance...duh...or sort of like when your parents may have banned you from playing with the bad kid down the street.
So, lo and behold, one late night she called and said that she just couldn't get married without me by her side. Holy cow. What could I say but yes?
I am having some panics, yes I am. I am there for her, but, oh there's so much more to it and without going into detail, it will just make no sense to you. It's like walking into a cafeteria as the new kid, or like having your skirt fall down in front of everyone (I speak from experience), running into the bathoom, and eventually having to come out and face everyone again. I feel like the new girl in junior high again - I can hear the whispers and see the stares. I remind myself that I am not in junior high, but at a wedding for a friend who wants me there.
But that little voice in my head says, "Yeah, but they don't want you there." And gosh darnity, it still hurts.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
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4 comments:
Oh man, that sounds so stressful. You're obviously a good friend!! I'm contemplating going private with my blog because I don't want to have to worry about every little thing I rant about:( You can set it up so that people have to be invited. So I'll be inviting you sometime soon. Meanwhile I'll be very restrained!!
will you be inviting me?!:)
is jon going to the wedding? that could ease some of the pain...just let him take it for ya.
oh, my first comment was directed to kelly. i'm NOT trying to get a wedding invite!
haha, Julie wants to come. Can she be a bridesmaid too? Can I be the maid of honor? We'll both protect you and keep you laughing all day. Thanks for the laugh, Julie!
Yikes, Melanie. Sounds dreadful. I am hoping it will be one of those things that, once the time really comes, everything will be fine and you'll be relieved.
Rachel
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