Van Ornamentation

Sometimes I just itch for an adventure, long for a little somethin'-somethin'.

This feeling washed over me while at the pool yesterday. I was talking to my nephew while my other nephews and my own boys played sharks and minnows in the pool.

The whistle blew for '15-minute rest break'. As the kids heaved their wet bodies out of the pool, I glanced around for towels and noticed Jonah's boxers lying on a chair next to his jeans. Now, boxers are really more of an accessory. The top inch sticks out above shorts and jeans, so it's not as if we're talking about a nasty, dirty pair of tighty whities here. In my defense, please keep this fact in mind.

I don't know what came over me.

I think it was too much sun or something evil of that nature.

In a moment of insanity, I picked up his boxers, walked nonchalantly to an empty lifeguard chair stand, and casually slid them onto the pole.

There they hung, waving a silent salute in the summer breeze.

It was a beautiful thing, one of rare beauty. Boxers hanging on a lifeguard chair and an unsuspecting teenager.

A minute or so later, I sat questioning myself. Did I cross the line? I love to play jokes on my kids and vice versa. But I never want to humiliate them too much. I never want to break their confidence.

Just about the time I decided to walk over and take them down before anyone noticed, the music at the pool turned off and the P.A. microphone buzzed. My heart stopped as I realized what was happening:

"Attention. Attention Everyone! I would like to direct your attention to the lifeguard chair at the pool's entrance. There is a pair of boy's boxers hanging on the chair. Would the owner of these boxers please come and remove them now?"

I wanted to remain calm, remain nonchalant, so that no one would know who the underwear belonged to. Really, I did. But I just could not contain myself. I laughed until I snorted, and snorted until I cried.

My poor, poor 14-year old son. I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me.

I felt bad about it (sort of) for a few more hours until after dinner.

I had just come back from running Gable to the pool. The other boys decided they wanted to go to the pool, so we headed back outside. It was then that I noticed a pair of my own underwear hung from the back windshield wiper of my van.

A mom-van with panties.

So yeah, I really just do not feel so sorry for the little punk anymore.

I just don't.

Sunny & Hot

I cannot even fathom how different life would be like without the pool. It has been such a huge part of summer, of our lives, over the past five years.

Growing up, I always wanted to be one of 'those' kids. The kids with their goggles wrapped around their wrists and their hair bleached and sun-streaked. The ones with the bronzed bodies, smelling of sunscreen and sweat...

And now I have three of 'those kids'.



Not exactly the Doublemint twins, but they are pretty darn refreshing looking...


Each time this poor boy got up to flip, his father offered such helpful tips as, 'Flip harder' and 'Jump higher'. All the while sitting in his lounge chair recording.

Ah yes, life is good.

What Is He Trying to Say?

Someone has a birthday next month. Someone is turning 14.
But for the life of me, I can't figure out what he wants...
I can't decipher the clues - they are just not clear enough.

If only he would give us a list of some sort. And if he could put the list somewhere where we could see it, that would be very helpful. Like, say, in Jon's shoe or stuck between two of Jon's socks?

If only he could make many copies of that list so that it could be distributed everywhere. If he made lots of copies, he could, theoretically, hang it in the picture frame over our bed. Or, like this one that we found under our pillows...

I have no idea what this child wants for his birthday.

I just wish he could be a little more direct...

The Great Grocery Experiment

Over the past thirteen years, grocery shopping has gone through many phases and many challenges.

Shopping with an infant proved to be very stressful. Just as I finished my sprint through the grocery store, I would be faced with a wailing, hungry child. The prospect of feeding a tiny child in the grocery store was daunting, especially coupled with the fact that this hungry babe would soon be a very poopy babe and that would require a diaper change and probably, a clothing change. So, more often than not, I left my grocery cart and returned at a later time to pick up my goods.

As I gained more children and more experience, there were new challenges associated with the grocery store. I learned to starve my toddler before shopping so that the entire time in the store could be spent with little finger foods to pacify them. I learned to carry a baby, breastfeed, talk to a toddler, pick out food, and pull a shopping cart simeotaneously.

Then came the phase when the boys learned that they had some control over what went into the cart and that whatever went in the bags went back to our home and into their mouths. I can't say that we have ever had food-related tantrums in the store, but we definitely have had many discussions relating to what we need and what are luxury items. Granted, there is absolutely nothing wrong with luxury or convenience items. Sometimes one just has to have a pack of Oreos or the occasional can of Spaghetti-O's. I get that. What has been a lifelong lesson for me as well as the boys is the fact that we have a set amount of money alloted to groceries each week. If we buy all convenience foods, we will have no money left for the bulk of the food that we eat. Fun foods disappear within a day or two. After that, what is left?

Enter, the Great Grocery Experiment!

Yesterday morning, the boys and I were going through local ads to get our list together for grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart price matches any local competitor's price as long as you bring in the ad. For example, if Kroger has milk for 88 cents, when we get to the register, we just say, "I'd like to price match this milk for 88 cents." Done. It's quite cool, actually, and it allows us to get all the big deals without going to Kroger, Meijer, and Wal-Mart.

As we were going through the ads, the boy were circling everything that they were interested in: Doritos, Pop Tarts, Lunchables, Pepsi. As we began to narrow the list down, I had an idea and that idea became the basis for the Great Grocery Experiment.

Our grocery budget is $150 per week. There are five in our family, so that is $30 per person per week, or, rounded up, $5.00 a day. I challenged the boys to make out their own menu and feed themselves exclusively on the food that they could buy with $15 for three days. I knew there would be junk food and soda pop, but I was curious to see what would transpire.

Each boy spent time preparing a list and researching prices before we left. They had mixed feelings. Jonah was stoked and definitely did the most research. Gable was apprehensive, afraid that he would run out of food and starve. I assured him that he did not have to do the challenge, but if he did, over the three day period, I would not let him starve, but I would let him feel hungry. Jack was just excited and as any seven year old would be and did little planning or research. (He did, however, ask if he could buy only ramen noodles for three days and spend the rest on a Lego set.)

Although I really wanted (and I mean really wanted) to give them pointers and warnings, I also knew that in order for any of us to gain knowledge as well as enjoy the challenge, I needed to let them be. Be 13, be 10, and be 7...with $15 in their pockets! I wanted them to buy all junk food or all name-brands or all soda pop. I just wanted to have a little fun with it and see what happened.

Gable was definitely the most cautious at the store. He also is the one who spent the least. I think he has $1.50 left.

For his three days worth of food, he chose two instant lunch cups, three bags of Ramen noodles, a box of Cheez-Its, eight cans of Pepsi, one can of Skyline, one box of spaghetti, two cans of tuna, one can of Ravioli, one pizza lunchable, one half gallon of chocolate milk, and one half gallon of orange juice. A 10-year old's dream, a mother who worries a bit too much about healthy eating and healthy teeth's worst nightmare.

Jonah, as expected, is probably going to have the most satisfying meals over the course of three days. He bought pizza rolls, Doritos, a pound of bacon, a dozen eggs, pop, milk, five oranges, a box of macaroni and cheese, a loaf of bread, and two boxes of instant noodles. He's already had offers for trades, but the deal was clear: Whoever accepts the $15 accepts the full challenge rules of eating exclusively what they purchased. Water and salt and pepper are freebies from mom and dad. Also, they are permitted to purchase small quantities of butter or condiments, so they each saved some money for those purchases.



This is where I lost it. Look at this face. Look at his satisfaction. Look at a seven year old with $15 in his pocket...

Seriously, when Jack brought this big box of chips to me, I laughed so hard in the cereal aisle that I snorted. Several times. This stupid box was $10! Do you know how hard it was to let him buy this? But a challenge is a challenge. I did ask him what he planned to eat for breakfast. He said chips. I asked about dinner. He said chips. Lunch? You get the drift. All in all, Jack ended up with 36 bags of chips..., a dozen eggs, milk, Dr. Pepper, and vanilla wafers. And for dinner last night? He put five bags of chips on a plate and drank out of the Dr. Pepper bottle.

I simply cannot stop chuckling at all this.

One thing is for sure...this is going to be a really interesting three day challenge!