Jon is back from Honduras, but he is not 'back' just yet.
He has completed three trips to Honduras to date, and each time, the same process plays out upon his return.
Re-integration.
This is different from when we return from vacation, although even when returning from vacation, I find myself not always ready to jump back into normal life. I get irritated when people nonchalantly ask, 'How was it?' and I offer up a basic response like, 'It was good'.
Have you ever had a tragedy in your family, maybe a death or even a long bout of illness and when you return to 'normal' society, it feels so cheap to answer people's 'How are you doing?' with 'Good, better...fine'. It is just difficult to sum up something so major and life-changing with just a few words. And unless people really care, really get it, it is a waste of breath to try and explain the depth and importance of it? Or, you lapse into an in-depth, intimate portrayal of your feelings and emotions and the person who asked the initial question just stands there, distracted, wondering why they even bothered to ask? Or, they nod and act as if they get it, when they really so do not.
I wonder if that is what this re-integration is all about. Being back at home, the place he dearly loves, but being distracted, annoyed even, at the pace of life here. At the noise, at the cell phone's constant ring, at the knocks at the door.
Since this does not happen when he returns from a business trip or vacation, I can only conclude that a trip such as this one is meant to be neither a vacation or business trip. That there is nothing easy about coming home makes me wonder what scenes are playing over in his head, what faces are burned into his memory, and what little hands he still feels in his.
I see pictures of the journeys, I read the written accounts, but I have never been there. And honestly, I have no desire to go. That may not be the 'right' thing to say, but it is the truth. I have no desire to go. Call it self-preservation. Have you seen those pictures of the poverty and the filth? I have, and they break my heart. To hear the stories of how the men have multiple families and the women are just objects, property, with no income and no way out. To hear of the young children working as hard in a day as I work in a year, to hear the stories of sickness and death that can be easily prevented with something so simple as a concrete floor as opposed to the dirt floors they have...
How can one go there and just up and leave? How can one return without grabbing armfuls of children? How can one leave those women who are finally, finally being taught a trade so that they don't have to depend on polygamist husbands who father more children from more woman than one can keep track of?
So, although this re-integration process is a bit difficult at times, I am confident that it is a sign of good things. Should Jon have returned from this journey unscathed, unweathered, no worse for the wear, the trip would have been in vain. It would have been nothing more than a vacation or a business trip.
Re-integration.
8 comments:
Wow...
i went to haiti in college over a spring break and it was weird to come back. i've also been on the navaho reservation out in arizona/new mexico a few times and while it is not out of the country it is an experience much the same. i think the most disturbing thing about being out there is realizing that you're still in the u.s..
this was a beautiful post melanie!
Good post Melanie. I get it...and I am still re-intergrating as well. I think the amount of time we spent over there was perfect. If it were longer, then it really would have been hard to "up and leave". The comforting thought is that God is doing some amazing things there and, as with everything, it just takes time. Time is a concept we Americans can't comprehend because everything is so fast paced. Just know, what seems like an eternity to us is a blink to God. Peace!
It's a different perspective on life. To us, their way of living is not all that great, and in American society, a woman would strive to get out of such demeaning conditions, and the man would be shunned. But in a place where this life style is common, for someone that knows of no other way of life, that's just what it is....Their way of life.
When I look at pictures from the orphanage my daughter lived, the children left there (her age now) have no idea what life is like outside of what they know. Whereas, my daughter would be lost without us now, and she would probably never get over it.
Great expression Melanie.
Ryan (thisisreverb) pointed me here.
As I read I could only think of the words:
Life Experience!
It adds to who we are and what we're about.
Thank you for sharing this enlightening post.
Awesome post, Melanie.
I definitely can relate to this post. I recently went on a humanitarian study abroad trip to Colombia over spring break, and when I came back I just didn't quite have the words to tell others about it. It still frustrates me that I'm not able to express the impact that the people and experiences had on me. I definitely left a piece of my heart with the children there and think about them every day!!
Great post!
Sometimes I just want to vomit out my luxeries. Lately I have been feeling very uncomfortable with my comfortable'ness' and I don't know what to do about it (or rather what God is telling me. . .).
Something just doesn't feel right with my way of life lately.
Anyway- this was about Jon, sorry for the intrusion. But I *think* I get it.
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