Another disclaimer: This blog is not for the faint of heart, the wuss, the man who will be disgusted by menstrual talk, or the person who will think less of me for a sexual inuendo.
There. All better.
Still with me?
I am a cat person. Mind you, I love all creatures and critters (except snakes), but just know that when I am old, I will be the little old lady that you see on the news. You know, the one who they are removing because she has 98 cats and feeds them cans of solid white albacore tuna while her neighbors say that all she has to eat are scraps.
I do like dogs, may even love dogs, but I did not grow up with them. Therefore, my knowledge of dogs is limited to the two, now three dogs that I have owned, all in my PJ life (Post-Jon life). As most of you know, we now own little Hazel.
Who is a girl dog.
And we all know what a girl dog is called. My grandma has no problem saying, "Oh, what a beautiful little b#%*^. Come here, little b@^&!".
Try to keep a straight face during that...
But, but, BUT....
Did you know that a girl dog has a 'cycle'? Did you know this????? Because although I know about the birds and bees and going in heat and all, I didn't know that they actually...
bleed.
Yes, that's right. But not to fear because dog manufacturers have come out with doggie pads, the close cousin of the doggie diaper.
On another slightly disgusting note:
While at Willie's a few days ago, we ordered fried pickles. Jon asked the waitress if they were any good, but she said she had never tried them. A little while later, she checked back in with us and Jon burst out this little keeper:
"Hey, I got a pickle over here with your name on it."
There was a slight pregnant pause before she said, "Oh".
She walked away with Jon's head in his hands, shaking back and forth saying, "Oh. My. Gosh. I can't believe I just said that."
This is why I love him. Because of all the stupid things that I say, of all the immediately-regretted comments that I spew out, he will always, always find a way to make me feel that my comments maybe aren't nearly as stupid as his...
Friday, January 2, 2009
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9 comments:
Oh man, that's so funny. He has a pickle with her name on it, thats so wrong. ha ha ha, by the way, did you like the fried pickles, I think they are quite tasty.
Hey Dan,
I think I would have liked the fried pickles if they wouldn't have been so...fried. These had about an inch of batter on top of just a sandwich slice of a pickle. I really couldn't even taste the pickle. I need to find a place where they are good, because I think I would really like them.
I did know that about girl dogs. Do they do that if they are fixed though? Maybe that is a stupid question? Anyway, I don't think I could change a doggy pad. EWWWWWW.
And the pickle thing, that is just too funny!
Thank you for a good morning laugh!
We had a female boxer when I was a kid and after the first time she bled, we changed our minds about breeding her and got her fixed...it was just too gross to have to experience it more than once.
And, poor Jon...I think that comment may haunt him for awhile now that's it's public...
hoffbrauhaus in newport has really yummy fried pickles. less batter and more pickle. and we know more pickle is always better:).
girlie dogs are so gross on their monthly thing! we've had two girls. one was fixed after her first litter and the other as soon as she could be! AND if there are any boy dogs around who aren't fixed they go CRAZY during that lovely time. we had a boy and girl at the same time who were not fixed. we had to separate them and the boy howled constantly. not worth it.
Oh, Man!! Poor Jon! He won't live that down for a while...I promise to do my best not to contribute ti the teasing...
Yes, fixing Hazel will "fix" that little blood issue... :)
Nice pickle comment Julie S. ;)
As for the dog, I say get her spayed for the following reasons: 1. Dog pants are weird. 2. Your boy dogs will thank you for protecting their mental health. 3. It may help with your house training issues. But, as you know, I am not a dog person, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
Ew. Do you want the info for the cheap spaying clinic? I think it's like $30 or something. Sometimes the county offers it free- I'll keep my ears peeled. Ew. Although, I am sure you want to breed Hazel. You need more Hazels running around your house, right? Sons a bi***es.
I still laugh when I think of the comment Jon made when I first met him and he was exiting the bathroom. It was awesome!
Hi! I found you via the little Google reader thingie that gives me updated blogs. I love that pickle comment :) Fried pickles are delicious!
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