Lofty Expectations

The boys are gone, off on an adventure with their dad. I've been waiting for them to leave. I was counting down the minutes...tick, tick, tick...

Not because I wanted them gone. Not for a few moments of Seinfeld or the lure of an afternoon nap, although that does sound quite delightful.

I have a stack of stuff that I can't dispose of unless they aren't around. And I can't even dispose of it in our garbage cans. Many, many times I have finally gotten up the nerve to trash something, only to find it months later tucked away under someone's bed or hiding under my car. For these situations, I have to use the neighbor's garbage.

But now that the boys are gone and my 'stack of stuff' is gone, I have grander, more lofty goals: the bathroom.

The bathroom is the eyesore of the home. Didn't Shakespeare say that? Maybe Tolstoy?

Oh, but it is. Peeling paint, warped drywall, lovely old-lady purple paint complete with a hideous flower-clad border. It's quite lovely. The tile on the floor is missing a dozen squares and the number continues to grow.

Why, prey tell, is this main bathroom the eyesore that it is?

Because.

I want it gone. This bathroom needs all new drywall. All new everything at that.

I figure that if I let it go long enough, I will get what I want.

And I want it gone.

It would give us a bit more room if this bathroom was gone, torn down, but Jon says that we need a bathroom. Pfft. Weirdo.

So since the hideous bathroom is obviously not going anywhere, I decided to use this time to begin to pretty it up. The wallpaper border is soaking in heavy chemicals and hopefully will begin to fall off dead in a few minutes.

It's time. My niece wouldn't even use the bathroom because she thought it was in the middle of remodeling.

Nope, it just looks like that, honey. You mean you don't have band-aids holding the mirror in place? Oh, pah-lease.