Hiding

I'm in hiding. Or rather, I want to be. I had a people-packed weekend, starting way back around mid-week. Wednesday, I had appointments with lots of pregnant people. Thursday, the boys and I went out to eat with my dad. Lots of people there. Friday we went to a football game with a zillion people. Saturday morning I went to the Chick Flick thing at Westside and Saturday night I went to a chili cookoff. I did toy with staying home this morning to detox, but the boys wanted to go. So, today I went to church and guess what? People were there. I know, astounding. After church, we went to the bar being converted to a coffee house open house.

It was at this point that I crumbled. Crashed.

I think we were there five minutes and I decided that I must leave. I needed to leave. I was annoyed that everyone and their brother needed to talk to Jon. We couldn't exchange two words without an interruption. I was disgusted by people's personal questions and comments to me. Why must I get to this point? Why couldn't I just have stayed home this morning?

Someone that I barely knew came up to talk to me and I was aggravated at her probing, personal questions. I tried to deflect them. I finally managed to shut her up. I stood up, about to walk away, and then I looked back at her. I don't know what came over me, but in about two seconds time, I went from looking at her from my vantage point (I'm sick of people, why is she asking such rude questions, she drives me crazy, what a nut) to looking at her from God's eyes. I almost cried with compassion for her when I saw how vulnerable she was. She was asking those questions because, even if simply by dragging intimate information out of me, she could somehow have insight into my thoughts and feelings...sort of like a friend...I realized that as hard as it was for me to be around all of these people, it was hard for her in a different way.

So I am hiding my head. Wait a minute, we just had pop-in company for the past two hours. I'll hide my head tomorrow. Nope, wait, I have to teach four preschool music classes at co-op tomorrow. Okay, tomorrow night. I am locking my doors, pulling down my shades and curtains (oops, don't have either), turning off my phone, and playing a nice quiet game of Uno all evening long. The. End.