I am a screw-up. I really am.
A while back, I was heading into the post office at closing time on a Saturday. As I walked in the door, I felt this nudging...
tell her she's beautiful
It caught me slightly off guard and if you are a regular at the post office, you may understand. PO women are rather 'efficient' looking...
tell her she's beautiful
I looked the two workers over. One was new on the job. She was young and had a beautiful olive complexion, but was severely overweight and rather frazzled looking. I figured it was she who needed a pick-me-up. So I reasoned it out in my mind. If she turns out to be my cashier, I'll tell her.
Since it was closing time, she was busy trying to learn to shut her machine down and I was called to the other line.
tell her she's beautiful
It was then that I realized that I was supposed to tell the veteran, very 'efficient' postal worker that she was beautiful. The lady that I was now conveniently face-to-face with and answering her questions about 'liquid, fragile, flammable, or perishable'. But I'm in a hurry. Jon's in the car with the kids and what if I tell her and it turns into a 'god moment' and she needs to talk and it goes a long time and, and, and, and
I didn't do it. I left with my head down. I tried to push her face out of my mind. I told myself that if God really wanted her to know that she was beautiful (because obviously he's the one that thinks so), he could have sent any number of messengers to her. I told myself that I would surely tell her next time and on and on and on.
I'm not sure why these situations are so hard. Many people have encouraged us by just a few words. I can make people a meal, I can send a card, an email, give a gift. But for some reason, I couldn't do this one. And I am so sorry. I could have changed this lady's entire evening or weekend or life with just a few beautiful words.
But I didn't. But, hopefully, there will be a next time. Maybe an easier target would help???
Sunday, June 8, 2008
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6 comments:
Welcome to the club. The hard part for me has been coming to the realization that it's my own pride, and not my shyness or rationalizations that get in the way. My pride.
This is not over...she still needs to be told she's beautiful. God tells me to say weird stuff to people all the time and I only make good on it about 5 percent of the time.
Life is too short for us to be wusses like this. Let's be different.
I'm in the same club! I have the T-shirt AND the baseball cap. Sometimes I might have a legit reason to question a "word" I get...But usually it's fear. Or pride...or selfishness.
God is a God of second chances...and third and fourth and hundreth. Get her next time! After all, God may well have known that you'd bail the first time and regret it so he has another divine appt all ready for ya!
That is a tough one. I know that would be difficult for me and I love my postal workers. The post office is like the show Cheers, where everybody knows your name and they'll all be glad you came. Me and the Postal workers are very chatty.
Melanie-
I used to get those all the time. It was exciting but I hated it as well.
Hopefully you won't get a 'word' about your car. THAT is annoying.
Since then, I have been angry and feel slightly lost about those words from God. I think I am going to blog about it because it's been swirling around for awhile now.
Rachel
Oh my goodness- I almost forgot!
(a little background first)
When we started the adoption process I heard of a local birthmother (not matched to us but that had her baby almost the same time as Myleigh) and her name was Nikea. It's a fairly unique name.
I had an experience SO identicle to your post office thing at a gas station. And it was even the "tell her she's beautiful" thing too!
Only, when I got up to her to check out, I also chickened out (even though she WAS physically beautiful). And I even saw that her name was Nikea as I was leaving. Duh, that should have been my cue. We are so lame sometimes aren't we?
sorry, that anonymous poster was me, Rachel.
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