Batgirl

I don't want bats in my house.

I don't want raccoons in my garage.

I don't want my basement to flood.

Especially when Jon is out of town.

But, I am a mom. I am an educated woman. I am capable. I can do this, daggone it.

The bats are not living in my attic as I thought last night. Oh no, they are living in my fireplace and in the chimney. Lovely. How did I not hear them before? They are so loud, even now, that they are making my stomach turn. I am ill. I am sitting in my living room and they are screeching in my fireplace. You do remember the fireplace, you know, the one whose doors I removed when Jon was in Honduras, only to paint and replace? I'm thinking that was a good move, putting those doors back on and all.

I spent hours last night looking up information on bats. I tried calling the bat expert, David, but had no luck getting him. All I could think about was the Strasser's bat-horror story and the thousands of dollars of damage they did. I think it was $8,000. I read that they can only be 'relocated' during any month other than June, July, or August. Otherwise the moms won't leave the babies because they are nursing and the babies can't fly, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I'm with you, Julie: any mom who is nursing gets to stay with their babies, but they haven't had their babies just yet. I have to get busy on this bat-elimination program.

Okay, back to sitting outside. We all sat outside like we were waiting for a parade or something. It was the bat parade and I was Batgirl. I don't want to be Batgirl. I didn't see the bats come out of the chimney, but my neighbor and I saw two go into the chimney at different times. We also saw another bat looking around for his friends. They were knocking around inside of the fireplace and I am sick, I tell you! I want them gone. Now. Yesterday. Just - GONE.

Breathe.

I did patch up the garage window today with a Gap Outlet bag. It's a very classy look. No more raccoons tonight.

I did a load of laundry this morning and the basement flooded. On Saturday, the boys had a water fight. Two boys, who shall remain nameless, used the stationary tub next to the washer. They did clean up except for one half of one easter egg. That half of the egg got suctioned down right on top of the drain in the sink and the whole laundry load of water got to go on a field trip out of the tub. The drywall is not dry anymore...

I do feel a little tense today, but not too bad. One of my boys had a very hard, very grumpy day and that is never fun. Finally tonight, he said that he missed Jon. Maybe that is the reason for his anger today. He's still a cutie though, even when he's mad as fire with his brow all furrowed and his jaw all set tightly. He doesn't really like when I say that though. I don't know why...

So, if you start to have strange dreams about flying mammals, you can pray for me and my zoo.